What is Real Intuitive Guidance?

I recently found a cutout from an article I had read years ago from Wisdom magazine. Unfortunately, I don’t know who the author is but it’s a great description of what real intuitive guidance is and what it is not.  (It’s also applicable if you go for a reading seeking guidance from a professional):

“Inner guidance can be distinguished from unconscious ego agendas by its consistently loving tone, clarity and open-ended quality that doesn’t preclude our own collaborative response to the directive. True guidance is grounded and reasonable even when we’re being lead to make a leap into the unknown. Its counsel feels relevant to our soul’s needs and often brings a refreshing perspective that helps us through dense negativity. True guidance is always positive even when it asks us to examine flaws. Pure guidance is never judgmental, overbearing, hurtful, condemning, critical, harsh or pushy.”

So, let’s make sure that we’re listening to our true inner guidance, not the fears, not the critics, not the pollyannas, but the open yet practical loving guidance that our hearts and minds gift us with when we listen.

Ever run into people from your past?

Well, I’ve been doing so, so often lately that I start wondering. Not surprisingly, knowing my spiritual inclinations and search for meaning. For me, synchronicities are usually fun ways of showing us we’re on track or highlight something important that needs attention.

I used to think running into people was a sign to reconnect. Then as I’ve tried this I realized my theory may be slightly flawed. Sometimes, you are meant to reconnect, if you've grown in the same direction. But very often, if we've moved on, it's for a good reason! Especially because as time goes by, we trust ourselves more, are truer to ourselves and realize we want deeper relationships, more commonalities or whatever choice we’ve wanted for our present and we no longer resonate with some people from our past. Not that there's anything wrong with them, they just no longer fit, we've outgrown them. They simply no longer fit as characters in the story of our lives. It may be slightly sad to see them gone or going. However, this only allows more space for better characters to come or for the deeper development of those already there. 

Sometimes we run into people just to show ourselves how far we've come!

The Butterfly Effect

I often forget this story but people love it when I bring it up so I’ll write it out as well though I’m not sure if without my cute little voice inflections it'll be as impressive!! ;) I hope it brings as much joy to you and that sparkle in the eye as those I've told it to, live! ;)

One time, many moons ago, I was taking a plane on a busy holiday season. There were tons of antsy people, for some reason I wasn’t one of them that time. (like I said, many moons ago!! :))

We finally board the plane and I get stopped at the door by the counter person and the flight attendant and she asks me: “Would you like to sit in first class?” I must’ve looked confused cause she proceeded to say “I was having such a rough day and you smiled at me and it made all the difference” So I sat in first class on my flight from New York to Miami in shock. I barely remembered smiling at her. Till this day I remember she was a short blonde nice seemingly stressed woman, but it wasn’t like I consciously went out of my way to do my random act of kindness of the day! I never knew one could have such an effect and that someone could be so grateful for something done naturally, and not only that, that I would get rewarded for it.  

This brings me to the point of we never know how what we do and say is affecting others. Today, I passed on someone else’s wisdom in a reiki circle at a completely different scene. One had been a financial interview and this was at a senior center. I told the person, I'm sure he didn't expect to be mentioned in that scenario! ;)

The ripple effect of our actions and words are immense. Let’s remember that gently and choose wisely. We give what we have, so let’s be pleasant to ourselves, so we can be so to others.

I guess it’s like that sports coach on some channel I was surfing through years ago once said: “If you’re not an example, you’re a warning!” Let’s try to make most days exemplary without putting too much pressure on ourselves. Don’t think that a small action is not enough. Obviously, even our most natural expressions are fulfilling to others and expansive, not only to us. You may be one person but you may be affecting thousands in the most positive way!!  Yes, even as you write a post! Even as you vent, even if it’s not “so-called positive”, truth is very positive in every expression.

PS: If so inclined, look up “Butterfly Effect” for the quantum physics explanation, I didn’t want to get into it ;)

In big things and in small...

ASK and YOU SHALL RECEIVE

Isn’t that how it goes? And you do receive! Usually, as I’ve already mentioned this in my other manifesting post. ;)  But what about the things we forget to ask?

Today after yoga, I was thinking to myself "Wow, my neck and shoulders have that nagging kinda tense feeling", and then I realize that I ask for many things in my wish, manifestation, prayer, whatever you wanna call it list but sometimes they’re major things.

You know the list goes something like this: love of your life, dream passion purpose, great friends, health, financial security, etc. etc. and I forget the li’l things that are the day to day, the journey part of the destination in itself. I had never thought of asking for release in my neck and shoulders. That’s one thing that bothers me often yet I think I just gotta live with it. Why not ask for the li’l things as well? If we have time to manifest great desires, why not focus on li’l things as well that will make our journey more comfortable?  
I thought I’d put this out there cause I suspect, I may not be the only one focusing on the forest and forgetting the trees in this respect. ;)

My shoulders are already a bit more relaxed.

Manifesting More than We can Imagine

By now, we know we can manifest much of what we want very quickly. Great! But is it what’s best for us? After all, we don’t know every possibility out there that can bring us the most happiness.

In one example, I encountered a woman who was so insistent on marrying a man she fancied that she actually made it happen. She got what she wanted but was it what was best for her?  She lacked love and acceptance so she did everything she could to please her significant other but years later ended up being resentful that she did so much. She didn’t present her true desires, her true self, just what she thought was required to be loved. She didn’t know any better.

The man didn’t love her as much and so the affair didn’t quite work out as she envisioned. Sometimes we think marriage is the key to happiness and the end of our troubles, without asking ourselves what is it that we truly want?

Similarly to overeating, we can ask ourselves: what is it that I really hunger for? Sweetness? Then perhaps I can find it by calling a sibling. Comfort? Perhaps I can find it in a memory, a cup of tea or a bath. Security? Perhaps I can find it in a deep breath and a feeling of being fully in my body. Companionship? Understanding? Find a group with similar interests, etc.

We find ourselves pursuing and obsessing over certain things or people, when what we’re looking for can never be found outside. We can find many things but true contentment and harmony comes from within and is reflected in the exterior. From our interior we find what truly makes us happy, what truly motivates us to take action, what we enjoy and brings us peace.

The best thing to do is choose what we want to happen but also to allow it to come in its best form, better than we can imagine and in perfect timing, rather than micromanaging the details.

Why not open up to what's best for us rather than just be stubborn about what we want and we want yesterday. Like the child who wants to touch the hot stove and thinks the parent is being mean for not allowing him to do it. It’s protecting the child from harm. Let’s remember even if it’s only in timing, “life’s rejections are God’s protections”

We always get what we want anyway but may it come in its best form! What is it that we really want? Companionship, support, ease, comfort? Regardless of what you need right now, you can find it in some small form in your life. Find comfort and gratitude in the seeds and then allow the rest to blossom into a beautiful yet fulfilling surprise. 

“May the Best Thing Happen”

Thank you for all your advice

On a recent episode of Law & Order SVU, a teenager who was in an abusive relationship thanked the detective and legal team for helping her move on. Mariska Hargitay’s character replied: “It was all you!” I was so impressed that after they did all this work on this case, she would actually say something so inspiring! I’d have said: “you’re welcome!” ;) With this sentence though, she empowered the woman by letting her know that she was able to do it herself!

Then it dawned on me: We often thank others for their advice/help. But how often do we forget to thank OURSELVES for actually taking it?

Thanking ourselves for:

·         Taking care of ourselves

·         Actually thinking that sometimes people are trying to help us and have our best interests at heart.

·         Considering that taking the suggested action may actually yield a better result for us than what we’re already doing. 

·         Taking the advice that we’d normally give to others

·         For actually doing what we know is best for us, cause yes, we care for ourselves that much!!

So, thank yourself today (and often) for those times when taking advice was hard to do but it was the right thing to do! And yes, thank those who gave you that advice too, obviously they care!

PS: I’m not saying all advice has to be taken, but when it nags you, when you know in your heart the advisor is right. Then..yeah, then it means you know! You know that you have to do what’s best for you even if it may not be fun or easy!

The Many Faces of Yoga

Sorry to disappoint you but this article is not about the various forms, such as kundalini, hatha, vinyasa, etc. It's about our personal experience of yoga.

As I check my card in at the reception desk, a woman comes in behind me and pushes her way through. The reception attendant and myself were shocked, she didn’t even register. Oh well, it’s New York.

I go downstairs and wait for the yoga class to start. To my surprise, who’s there? The rushed woman. I thought to myself what’s the point of any spiritual practice, be it yoga or going to church among others, if you’re not going to be nicer to yourself and others?

Then I remembered, that’s why we call it a practice!

I was peeved, but as I sat on my mat, I decided to see everyone as myself.  What I thought would be a painful and annoying experiment turned out to be surprisingly fun.

I participated in the class and observed many aspects of myself, here’s a list of some of them:

-          The overzealous practitioner that tries too hard and loses the flow of the breath in an   effort to find the force!

-          The one who doesn’t follow the instructor’s flow in order to follow her own inner workings.

-          The one who doesn’t follow instruction due to a desperate need for attention getting herself into all kinds of distracting positions, forgetting the supportive community energy around her.

-          The one who practices as a workout.

-          The one who practices as a prayer.

-          The relaxed practitioner, who flows easily through everything as water in a river.

Through this exercise I smiled throughout the class, I realized the humor in it.

So today I offer you the same joyful experience: make this experiment a part of your yoga practice today. Observe others and see them as yourself.  It may be a different aspect of yourself that you’re not in touch with you today but is very familiar on other days.

When we look at others and wonder or judge, we must remember we’ve all been there ourselves, including the part we currently don’t identify with. Even if we don’t like them right now, God bless them. Acceptance will make us better practitioners because after all Yoga means Union. So we will start experiencing beyond the union, not only within our body and soul, but with our fellow practitioners in the studio, and hopefully with our fellow human beings.

Katherine Illescas

MBA/Holistic Arts Practitioner/ Fitness Instructor/Jewelry Designer/etc etc. ;)

True Strength

I’ve been meaning to write this for over a year, yet I’ve procrastinated probably because of a fear that I may not do it justice; that I may fail to convey in words what realizations come through life-changing experiences.

When I was younger, I believed that Strength was the stereotypically masculine meaning of: “toughen up (or suck it up) and move on.” You were not supposed to show tears or many feelings, as these were signs of weakness. Though this attitude got me through many years (as I'm sure it helps others and it helped others in other times), it didn’t help me when I met illness.  At my deepest low and with the help of others, I had to relinquish my idea that needing and accepting help were signs of weakness. I had to forgo the idea that you should be able to do it on your own, regardless of what “it” is. This was not easy for me, since I would confuse allowing help from others to mean that I was less independent, but luckily I learned this cause I didn’t have a choice. However, I am very grateful. This healed many of my relationships, helping me see others true kindness, compassion, care and capabilities.

I admit, it’s still a bit of a challenge now that I’m healthy. When offered help, the thought comes of saying “No, thank you, I’m OK” but I have a quick mental check and say “Thank you” and gracefully receive. I learned not to deny others the gift of giving that brings everyone joy and purpose.

I had another confusion with Strength when I broke up with my ex. I did not break up with him because I did not love him but because I knew he was not good for me. It hurt very much and I cried often, and I thought I was being weak (and I disliked it). It was only later that I realized that I had been strong in making a challenging choice knowing the pain I’d go through afterwards. Again, True Strength is doing what’s best for us. Not hanging on, not sticking it through, not hoping it will get better when we know otherwise. It’s being honest with ourselves.

It is in allowing ourselves and others to experience our vulnerability that we really show True Strength. That sometimes it’s true we have to “breakdown to breakthrough”. It makes us only more honest and compassionate with others, since as we are with ourselves, we are with others. Simultaneously, we allow others to show their true strength through giving, through their compassion and their own vulnerability.

A sweet doctor who saw me in pain and just pushing through told me “Don’t be a hero” , which meant if you’re in pain do something about it. It’s hard to relinquishing the Hero complex, though. Sometimes women do this more often than men. Sometimes even delaying going to see a physician because we believe we have to keep going regardless of pain and it’ll just go away. We think that Strength is pushing through regardless of its toll on our body or mind. We are masters at multitasking. We can (and believe we must) tackle it all! In one day we can be: mother, spouse, daughter, teacher, worker, housekeeper, etc. etc. Yet I’ll pass on what I learned from a yoga teacher once: “Allow yourselves to be Strong enough to rest” When have you added that to your “To-Do List”?

So let’s redefine Strength. It’s neither denial nor repression but it is rather found in flexibility, openness, versatility, and vulnerability. Let’s allow a change in perspective and behavior. Strength is taking care of ourselves, knowing when to keep going is as important as knowing when to let go. And while we know this and recommend this to others, we sometimes fail to do it for ourselves. Let’s remember that the caretaker personalities are often the ones who need the most care. Let’s leave aside the belief of weakness, shame or undeservedness that we erroneously formerly associated with resting, allowing help and all the things the positive things that may mean we’re not running the whole show.

True Strength is loving ourselves as much as we do others. It means accepting help, compliments, and anything positive. Sometimes we forget that we are a community, where being there for each other (giving and receiving) is where we show our true colors.

Katherine Illescas

A New York City Token of Gratitude

As I slowly descend the subway steps with a cane due to a temporary injury, a voice calls out behind me, “Take your time, honey! Don’t rush! Look at me!”  

I look back to see a man, who looks homeless and disheveled, pull up his pant leg up and hits his wooden leg with his cane. As a distrustful New Yorker, I quickly move forward. I finally arrive at the turnstile, and as I’m about to swipe my metrocard, he beats me to it and puts a token in for me! I say a bit embarrassed “No, thank you, you go; I have a card.” Though grateful, I’m thinking he’s obviously in much worse shape than I am. He looks me in the eye and says with a smile: “No, honey, you go. Don’t worry! God always gives me back double.”

Shocked, I walk through the turnstile. Teary-eyed, I ride home pondering. Despite the visibly obvious, this man had so much more than I did. He had faith, courage, a generous spirit and above all, compassion. He reminded me I wasn’t alone. Maybe he had been helped; maybe he hadn’t and simply knew my pain. All I know is that he knew how to walk on earth like an angel would, heart first.

From this experience I realized what we sometimes forget: Help sometimes comes from sources that don’t look glowing, light, winged and wonderful, like we expect them to, but they may look like the man who changed me, dark and damaged. He reminded me to see with my heart.  

This experience also taught me about accepting help, without this meaning I’m any less independent. I’ve learned through the years that have come after this encounter (obviously since we don't use tokens anymore ;) that with the help of others we can reach places we could otherwise not reach alone. Sometimes these are visible; sometimes they are places within us. Accepting help teaches us that the true meaning of love is not only in giving but in allowing ourselves to receive, with a token of gratitude.