Conflicting Desires

I’ve recently run into a few women who find themselves in this dilemma: they are with someone or are in limbo with someone whom they deeply love but are not in love with, and are wondering should they leave, would there be anyone else? Have they just set up such high expectations that they would never meet anyone else even if they tried?

Being in such situations keeps us safe and we don’t really have to get involved with someone new and so not even entertain the possibility of getting hurt. Maybe because we’re not sure if there is anyone better suited for us? However if the person you’re with or considering was the right one, there’d be no doubts. Right? Well that’s what’s commonly known (at least this is what I hear when I ask women who look happily married.. they just know) or perhaps that’s just idealistic. We wonder if this is as good as it gets that perhaps we’re just too dreamy to wish for more than what we have, a trusted companion. A friend told me once: “He’s not supposed to be a roommate!” Well, how would I know? I either encountered one or the other: Mr Full Passion, love of my life guy but gone very quickly, or Mr Full Friendship, reliable but not much passion.
So recently I learned to ask What if?

What if there was a scenario where you met a great guy you deserve to be with, with whom you have the passion as well as the companionship and friendship that this other man offers you. You also felt safe and trusted/trusting. At the same time that as you dissolve your confusion, your friend/consideration also meets an even better partner for him. And in time you can still be friends.

Someone told me once; there’s always room for more love. I know it’s true: True Love is never lost, be it in romantic or platonic relationships.

What if you could have all you want? What would that feel like? What would it feel like to have a passionate (not dramatic) loving intimate relationship where you’re completely comfortable, safe and supported? When you experience this even in your mind, some hidden stuff from your psyche may come up, such as fears, rejections and more. This is just so you can clear this up now so it can manifest in reality.

Also, we sometimes have additional conflicting desires, we want to be very successful in our profession but we also want a full family life and we have to reconcile within ourselves that this may coexist. We want someone yet we want our space. We can meet the person who wants to be with us yet also respects our need for space for they may need it too. Resolving that such things are possible will help ease up the fear of encountering our true desires, with less confliction.